Brothers // 兄弟 [Re-post // 重登]
由弟弟出生那天開始，我跟他仿佛結下了不解之怨. A seed of resentment seems to have been planted between us.
Who said that brothers are like partners?
Since the day my little brother was born, a seed of resentment seems to have been planted between us.
Everyone loved him, he had the family’s attention, and that of course includes my parents’.
He was so happy. He made my mother who was always mad at me laugh.
He was a lucky star. My superstitious father believed that his youngest son is the reason why he owns property and a career.
He was a monster, devouring everyone’s attention that was for me.
I never liked him.
The best things should be saved for the younger brother, even if it was mine to begin with. Older brothers should forbear.
When brothers argued, it was always the older one’s fault, even if the other started it. Older brothers should forbear.
‘Fairness’ was never a part of brotherhood.
‘Bearing’ and ‘accommodating’ is what parents think older brothers should be equipped with. Sorry, just couldn’t pick up those skills…
I didn’t like him; he didn’t like me.
One day we stopped bickering, because we didn’t want to acknowledge each other anymore.
There were toys and video games at home, but only one player at a time.
There were two couches at home. That allowed us to sit apart from each other. We didn’t need to come in contact or be close with one another.
Nothing has changed over a decade, even though I became a Christian.
After high school my brother became rebellious. At least two nights out of a week he would disappear. A gentle voice always answered his calls, “You have reached the mail box of…”
Arguing was the only way we communicated.
I hated him; he hated me.
Since then, we stopped talking.
One day, I don’t remember where I heard this (perhaps I imagined it), “no matter how much love, care and tolerance you have for others, as a Christian, if you see your family as an enemy and don’t learn to love them, your ‘testimony’ really means nothing.”
I started praying for my brother. It was the first time ever.
God heard my prayers, and my brother stopped running from home. He even found a job he liked.
He stopped looking at his family with fury, and start speaking with them, including someone he hated very much – his brother.
Because of his job, he always brought cosmetics testers home, and every time he had something for me. I couldn’t believe that God used these testers to soothe our wounds.
We started talking again, but how can all these resentment over the years just disappear? We just kept judging each other as we tried to get along.
God changed him.
He took initiative to ask me about my work, life and even church life.
Yet I still couldn’t accept this brother who was so different to me.
One morning we argued over something small again. Over a pair of trousers neither of us were planning to wear anyway.
Neither of us backed down, he was screaming so loud and I was going red from all the yelling.
I was so angry I gave him back all the testers, along with two hundred dollars. We didn’t need to owe each other anything then.
He looked at me with red eyes, I didn’t know whether it was anger, helplessness, or lament; but he left and slammed the door without taking the money.
Filled with anger I walked to the bus stop nearby for work.
I sat in a corner of the bus, thinking about what had just happened. I didn’t know why we had to argue over something so insignificant. I regretted that I couldn’t control my emotions, that I said hurtful things, that I do what hurts people…
Just then, I got an SMS that said, “I’m sorry, brother.”
Tears just kept flowing…
God changed me.
Since then I promised that I’d take care of my little brother. I even asked God how to bring him who once was a Christian back to the Lord’s side.
I let go of my judgements, and reached out to him. I tried to share with him the good news of the Lord.
God is so great! I remember one time I was feeling so sad and drained, my brother came and comforted me, “Perhaps this is God’s test for you! I will pray for you.”
I never thought that God’s seed would sprout so quickly, nor did I think that God would speak to me, reminding me to trust in Him through my brother!
I get together with my brother almost every night to have quiet time, pray, and ask God to lead us to be good example for Him, that our unsaved friends and family may experience God’s greatness and love.
Who said that brothers are like partners?
Brothers aren’t partners; they share the same blood.
Image Credit: Flickr / cgbphotography