Faith Reaction // 信仰反應 [Reblogged from WitnessSF.org]

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Editor Miranda shares about how she came to terms with faith, what it truly means to her, and how big a role it played in her life right from the start.

WitnessSF 編輯 Miranda分享她如何跟信仰妥協、信實對她的意義以及信實如何從她生命一開始便扮演著重要的角色。

I’m sure we’ve all heard it said that “God is faithful to those who are faithful to Him.” Of course we all want God on our side, so what exactly does it mean to be faithful? Faith is literally defined as “the complete belief, trust, or confidence in something or someone.” As believers, wholly trusting God with our lives is the foundation of our relationship with Him. But what of those that AREN’T faithful to Him? Those that DON’T seek Him with all their hearts, minds, and souls? What happens to them? Do they fall by the way side? Are they forgotten and left behind?

I am able to answer that question today as I look back on some of the most tumultuous but defining years of my life. My story exists solely because of a Father’s faithfulness to a child who was unfaithful to Him. Here is my testimony – my journey to discover what faith really means to me.

我肯定我們都有聽過“信實待主的人,主也會信實地對待他們”。 我們當然全都希望主站在我們的這一邊,那信實到底是甚麼意思呢?信實的字面定義是“對某東西或某人有著完全的信念、信任或信心”。身為基督徒,完全地把我們的生命交托給主是我們與主的關係所需的基礎。但是,對祂不信實的人會怎麼樣呢?那些沒有全心全意地去尋找祂的人呢?他們會怎麼樣?他們會跌倒在路旁嗎?他們會被忘記和遺棄嗎?

今天,當我回看那些混亂但決定我人生的年頭,我終於能夠回答這個問題。我的故事存在,全因為主以信實對待祂不信實的兒女。以下是我的見證-我那尋找信實對我的真正意義的旅程。

[Click ‘read more’ for the full story in English and Chinese// [如想細讀此見證的中英文全文,請點擊“更多”]

My story begins and ends with faith. When my parents found out they were pregnant again with their 3rd child, there was talk of abortion due to the fact that they were already struggling, trying to take care of the family both financially and physically. My dad was working long hours just to make ends meet, and my mom was struggling to take care of everything else, including my then 1 year old brother who had been born with a heart condition and overall weak health, and my older sister who was only 4 at the time and needed constant attention and care.

Thankfully, God spoke to my mother and father through a series of signs, and it was clear that He wanted them to keep this child – that He would be faithful to them if they were faithful to Him in following His will. They obeyed, the child was born, and they named her Miranda. It was only through the faith of my parents that I am even here today to share this story.

Thus I was born into this Christian home, accepting Christ as my Savior at age 5. I grew up knowing all the stories in the Bible by heart, memorizing all the most important verses, and having the knowledge that Jesus died on the cross in order to wash away my sins. But “Christianity” really meant nothing to me, as it was all just head knowledge and I only experienced it during Sunday school, or robotically praying with my family before meals and at night. As I got older, God became this distant fictional character in my life who I would call on when I needed something. He was someone who I “knew” existed, but I didn’t understand what the purpose of believing in was, other than to achieve eternal life after death – which to me, was just a means to escape from hell, if it even existed of course…

Once I reached high school, I began to question my faith even further. Did I truly believe that there was a God, or was I simply brainwashed into believing it because it was forced upon me as a truth? I envied people that didn’t know and grow up with this God of mine.. I saw friends and acquaintances seemingly living lives of pure bliss and carefree happiness doing whatever they wanted, and I desired their naivety and ignorance. They had no obligation to be faithful to anyone but themselves. I would think to myself, If I never knew what I know today, maybe I could live like that too… Why did I have to grow up knowing God, being taught to believe in and fear Him? Why was I taught good from bad, right from wrong… all before I could even walk?

These questions prompted me to look for something more in my life, and to completely turn my back on a God I had become resentful towards. I felt cheated – I wanted to have faith in something or someone that I knew I chose to believe in for myself. Really, I just wanted to believe in myself – that I could take care of myself, that my life wasn’t at the mercy of anyone else’s hands but my own.

So I turned to things that made me feel good about myself in the moment. I started hanging out with the wrong crowd in order to gain popularity, I began to drink and smoke, got into drugs, and started getting physical with guys. But after coming down from the high, after the relationship ended, after the party was over, did I feel satisfied? Did I feel whole? The answer was no, but my pride pushed me forward in this direction, telling me that I would be able to figure it out on my own, in time.

Fast forward to college life. Not much had changed in terms of my lifestyle, and I had just started dating an older guy who was very cool, popular, and seemingly confident and secure. I thought I was on top of the world being with him. I quickly transferred what confidence I had in myself into our seemingly stable relationship. But soon after, the façade came crashing down as I realized I was not a priority to him like he was to me. There was always another girl out there who was prettier or better than me that he wanted to give his attention to. Hanging out with his friends, playing video games, and smoking pot were always his first choices, rather than spending time with me. He constantly put me down in order to build himself up, and as a result, I never felt I was enough in any way, no matter how hard I tried.

As I grew more insecure with myself, I depended more and more on him and the relationship to define whatever was left of my self-worth. During this time, my life of alcohol, sex, and drugs continued and even worsened. I threw myself into this unhealthy cycle of self-abuse over and over again, thinking that it was all I had left – I didn’t deserve a guy who would treat me better, I didn’t deserve a life that was better, so I should just take what I have and be satisfied with it.

This is where trying to figure out a life of my own had taken me… I was so broken and literally at the end of my rope, looking for something to hold on to, to believe in, to shake me out of this numbness, but I just didn’t know what or how to even begin. There were times where I would cry out to God in bitterness – that if He was real, and if He was there, why would He allow for me to go through this?

Well, God was there, watching and listening. And He was faithful. And my bitter prayers were answered in way that I never expected: I got pregnant. My boyfriend at the time immediately said, “It’s OK, we’ll take care of it.” And of course, he meant that we’d have an abortion. In that moment, I didn’t even question him… I mean, what else could I really do? This WAS the most responsible thing that I could do for myself at this point… right? I even got as far as to scheduling the abortion at a Planned Parenthood.

After doing hours and hours of research on the affects of abortion, confiding in my mother, sister, and a few close friends, and visiting a Crisis Pregnancy Center where I got my first ultrasound at 6 weeks in, I had a change of heart. As far as I had drifted from Him, it was clear to me that God was calling me to have this child – to stand up and take responsibility for my actions. There was no need for an innocent child to suffer the consequence of my own mistake. God was giving me a choice, and I knew in that moment that I had to honor Him. So I took a deep breath, and told my boyfriend that I wanted to keep the child. He broke up with me on the spot, and I was left to walk this journey alone.

But really, I wasn’t alone. God saw me, the prodigal daughter that had left His care and protection willingly, only to find a broken heart and crushed spirit. Yet He welcomed me back with open arms, with nothing but love, forgiveness, and restoration to offer. God stood by me through the whole experience, and blessed me with loving family and friends who were there with me every step of the way, even if at times I didn’t want them there. In my desperation for a situation I was unfamiliar with, I could only cry out to the God I had forsaken so long ago. He answered every prayer, every petition, and every request that I sent His way, from not having morning sickness, to passing all my classes my last quarter at UCSD, to having the baby no later than my expected delivery date, to making sure I had insurance to cover me after I graduated, to a quick labor and birth process (it took less than 3 hours!), and so much more.

The funny thing is that if you look back on the situation, it might seem like I was faithful to God first by honoring Him with my decision to keep the baby, and therefore God was faithful back to me by answering all my prayers. But the truth is that God stayed faithful to me the whole time I went astray, and through His adamant belief in me, He allowed this pregnancy to happen in order to wake me up from a life of indifference… To point me in the direction of the amazing purpose-filled life He planned for me, even before I was ever born into this world.

I realized that our God is a God who gives us freedom willingly. He allows for us to choose whether we want to stay within His will and to trust that He knows best for us, or if we want to try and do it on our own. However, regardless of which path we choose, He remains faithful and is always there watching over us, whether we like it or not, and whether we want it or not.

Looking back, the footsteps of God’s faithfulness within my life are so clear to me today, though I had tried to deny them in the past. I realized that when we choose to stay in God’s will, not only do we personally reap the benefits, but those around us are also blessed. I like to call it the “faith reaction” – when one person puts their faith to action and practice, blessings are passed on like a chain reaction to those around them.

Through faith, my parents decided to have me, and I was born into this world and given a chance to create and discover a life of my own. Through faith, my daughter, Hope, was born on November 1, 2006. She is turning 6 this year. She is alive and well today because I chose to be faithful to God in preserving His gift of life. And through faith, God presented me with the most amazing adoptive family that I could have ever found for Hope. Through faith, I was able to bless this family with the gift of a child.

Today, when I see Hope with her family, I see how much joy and happiness she brings to them and I know that this was all a part of God’s plan for us, right from the start. If I had not surrendered my trust to God, we would have missed out on all of this and probably much more.

Seeing Hope alive today and her interaction with her family is not the only way that I have been blessed. Through my faith of having this child, God was faithful to me in the one thing I worried about the most throughout the whole process – my career. Before choosing adoption, I was afraid that if I had this child, my life would change forever and all the effort put into my schooling and education would go to waste, as I wouldn’t be able to pursue the career I had worked so hard for. But just like He always is, God was faithful. He has truly blessed me in the workplace. In my very first interview 1 month after Hope was born, I was offered the job immediately. A few months after I chose to leave this company, they actually went bankrupt. My second job was offered to me when I wasn’t even looking, with a much higher salary than I deserved or expected, and a great job title. While still working there, I was approached with the offer of my third and current position, where I once again received a huge jump in salary, responsibility, and title. Furthermore, the person who took over my position at the previous company was laid off 1 month after I left. My current coworkers joke that when I jump ship, it’s time for them to jump as well :) But in all seriousness, God planned my career so perfectly in advance, that from the start, I was foolish to even worry one second about it.

I’m not implying that you will get everything you want all the time if you put your trust in God. But what I did learn from this experience is that God is faithful in ways that we may sometimes not understand or see right away. All that we can do is ask for His guidance and wisdom in all that we do, knowing that “all things work together for good to those who love Him, to those who are called according to His purpose [Romans 8:28].” When God calls us, let’s answer with faithful hearts, so that in turn, He can bestow upon us the love and blessing that He so desperately wants to give us.

My story didn’t end here, but the seed of God’s love was planted in my heart. This was my first real experience of God’s faithfulness, where I could not deny that He was real and that He would do anything to bring me back home, any and every time I might fall away. Today, I hope that you are encouraged by my testimony. It serves as a reminder that when things seem dark and dreary, there is still hope. Know that God is still faithfully watching over you, and will take care of you in more ways than you can ever imagine… If only because He loves you, and believes in the person He created you to be.

Hope with her adoptive family

Me, Hope, and My Momma

 

Editor’s note: I struggled a lot deciding whether or not I wanted to share this story on WitnessSF. But I decided to go forward because I believe God gave me this experience in order to share and bless others around me with it, not to hide it. Beyond that, I truly believe that unplanned pregnancies and abortion are often swept underneath the rug, and peoples experiences are kept private. For me personally, I had to deal with and get over feelings of shame and embarrassment – not just for myself, but for my family and loved ones – because what I went through often breeds social gossip within both secular and Christian communities, unfortunately. But I want everyone out there to know that these experiences are real, and they happen to people around us all the time, whether we are aware of it or not. And as disciples of our Father, we are called to be open, available, and loving to those in need around us, regardless of the situation.

 

 

I also want to note that when I was faced with this pregnancy, I had an extremely difficult decision to make, and like I said before, our God is a God of freedom – and He allowed me to choose for myself. In the Word, God confirms many times that He created life for a purpose greater than we can fathom (Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born I set you apart...”). I chose to honor God by going through with the pregnancy. But I realize that many others who are facing or have faced the same difficult decision did not come out with the same conclusion or outcome, for personal reasons that I can’t possibly understand. Know that regardless of what you’ve been through, you will always be a treasured child of God, and He forgives, redeems, and loves unconditionally..

 

Through this period of my life, I wish that I had more people to talk to who understood what I was going through. So I want to make myself available for any of you out there who has gone or is going through something along the lines of what I shared in my testimony – whether it’s difficulties with relationships that are clearly impacting you in a negative way, whether you’re faced with pregnancy now, whether you’ve gone through an abortion, or if this story touched you in any other way and you’re just looking for some encouragement or someone to hear you out… Please feel free to contact me by e-mailing me at miryandawang@gmail.com. I’d be honored to hear from you, and would love to be there for you in any way I can. – M
我的故事始於信實,也終於信實。當我的父母得知他們第三次懷孕,他們想過墮胎,因為為了照顧當時的家庭,他們在經濟上和體力上已經負荷不來。我的爸爸為了糊口,每天長時間工作,而我的媽媽也為了生活上的其他一切而掙扎,包括照顧我當時只有一歲和天生體弱和心臟有缺陷的哥哥,以及我那不斷需要看顧和關注的四歲姊姊。

 

感恩的是主透過一連串的徵兆跟我的父母說話,而祂明顯地希望他們保住胎兒-祂說,如果他們以信實待主以及遵從祂的旨意,祂也會以信實對待他們。他們聽從主的旨意,小孩出生了,他們為她改名為Miranda。我之所以能夠今天在這裡跟大家分享我的故事,全因我父母的信實。因為我在這個基督教家庭長大,我從五歲起已經接受主為我的救世主。我從小就把所有聖經故事熟記於心,熟讀所有重要的經文,而且清楚知道耶和華為了洗去我的罪孽而死在十字架上。但是,“基督教”其實對我沒有甚麼意義,因為這只是頭腦裡的知識,亦是我在主日學或機器化地在飯前和晚上和我的家人祈禱時才經歷到的。當我逐漸長大,主變成了我生命裡一個遙遠的虛構人物、一個我有需要的時候才去求救的人物。祂是一個我“知道”存在的人物,但是除了能在死後得永生之外,我並不明白相信祂的目的,而得到永生對我來講只代表不用進地獄,那是⋯⋯如果地獄真的存在的說⋯⋯

 

在我進入高中後,我開始進一步地質疑我的信仰。我是否真心相信主的存在呢?還是,我只不過是被洗腦讓我覺得主的存在就是事實?我羨慕那些從小就不認識主的人⋯⋯我看見朋友和相識的人好像過著幸福和無憂無慮的生活,喜歡做甚麼就做甚麼,而我渴望能有著他們的天真和無知。 他們沒有義務去對任何人信實。我想,要是我不知道我今天所知道的所有事,我可能也可以好像他們一樣地生活⋯⋯為甚麼我要從小就認識主、被教導要相信和敬畏主?為什麼在學會走路前,我已經要去學分辨好與壞、對與錯?

 

所以,我把我的注意力轉移到當下能讓我自己感覺良好的事情上。我開始跟一群壞朋友一起,為的是要增加我的受歡迎程度。我開始喝酒和吸煙,甚至用毒品和開始與男生發生關係。但是,從興奮點靜下來後、當戀愛關係結束後、當派對開完後,我感覺滿足嗎?我感覺完滿嗎?答案是沒有,但是我的驕傲繼續推我往這方向走,告訴我我單靠自己就遲早能找到我想要的答案的。
跳到大學時期,我的生活模式沒有太大的改變,而我剛剛開始跟一個比我年長的男生約會。他很酷、很受歡迎,而且表面上也很自信和有安全感。跟他在一起的時候,我覺得我自己好像站在世界的最高點。 我很快便把我僅有的自信轉移到我們表面上很穩定的關係。但是不久後,當我意識到他根本沒有像我重視他一樣地重視我時,完美的表面像泥沙一樣倒下來。世上總會有一個比我漂亮或比我好的女生值得他去重視。跟他的朋友出去玩、打電動和吸食大麻都是他的首選,而不是花時間在我身上。他時常通過貶低我來提高自己,而結果是,無論我怎麼努力嘗試,我也覺得我在任何一方面也做得不夠好。

 

當我越來越缺乏安全感,我就越來越依賴他和這段關係去肯定我所剩無幾的自我價值。在這段時間,我那充滿酒、性和毒品的生活持續,並變本加厲。我把自己丟進一個自我虐待的惡性循環,心裡覺得我所擁有的就是眼前的一切-我不值得有一個會善待我的男朋友,我不值得擁有比較好的生活,所以我應該接納我所擁有的而且感到滿足。

 

這就是我單憑自己雙手去編寫自己命運所得到的後果⋯⋯我身心都破碎了,而我真的走投無路了,我唯有盡力地尋找我能抱緊的、能相信的、能把我帶出這麻木感覺的一些東西,但是我一點都不知道這應該是些甚麼東西,或者要怎麼開始。有時候,我會從苦楚處向主呼叫-如果祂是真的、是存在的,為甚麼祂會讓我經歷這一切?

 

其實,主全程都在這裡,看著和聽著一切。祂也是信實的,而我悲酸的祈禱得來一個我意想不到的答覆:我懷孕了。我當時的男朋友立刻說:“沒問題,我們會處理的。”那當然,他的意思是我們去墮胎。在那一刻,我完全沒有質疑他⋯⋯因為,我還有甚麼其他能做的呢?這是我在當下能為我自己做到的最負責任的事⋯⋯不是嗎?我甚至已經到Planned Parenthood(家計會)排期墮胎。

 

經過數小時關於墮胎的影響的研究、向我母親、姊姊和幾個最親的朋友傾訴和在Crisis Pregnancy Center(危機懷孕中心)做了我在懷孕六星期的超聲波後,我改變了心意。雖然我跟祂已經疏遠了,但是我清楚地感覺到主在呼叫我去把孩子生下來-去站起來並為我的所作的事負起責任。沒有需要讓一個無辜的孩子去承受我犯的過錯的後果。主正在給我一個選擇,而我知道在這一刻,我須要榮耀祂。所以,我深深地吸了一口氣,並告訴我的男朋友我想保留胎兒。他立刻跟我分手,而我就被丟下,孤單一人去走這段旅程。

 

但其實,我並不孤單。主看著我-祂那自願離開祂的關懷和保護,結果卻只剩下破碎心靈的敗家女。縱然如此,祂也張開雙臂用愛、寬恕和重生歡迎我回來。在我的整段經歷裡,主都站在我身邊,透過愛我和一直陪伴我(縱使在我不想見他們的時候)的家人和朋友祝福我 。在一個我不熟悉的絕望困境裡,我只能呼叫那位我很久以前離棄的神。祂應答了我的每一個禱告、每一個請願和每一個請求,例如讓我沒有孕吐、讓我在UCSD的最後一個學期的所有考試及格、讓我的嬰兒在預產期準時出生、確保我畢業後也有保險、讓我有一個快速的生產過程(全程最終少於三小時!)和更多更多。

 

有趣的是,如果你回看我的處境,事情好像是我先以信實待主、以保留胎兒的決定去榮耀祂,所以主才以信實待我答允我所有的祈禱。但事實上,主在我迷途的時候也以信實待我,而透過祂對我堅決的信心,祂允許我懷孕,好讓我能從冷漠的人生裡醒過來⋯⋯還有為我照明方向去過祂在我出生以前已為我準備的奇妙和充滿目的的人生。

 

我發現我們的主原來是一個很願意給我們自由的主。祂允許我們去選擇在祂的旨意裡的去或留、去選擇是否相信祂為我們做了最好的準備、或選擇憑自己的力量去嘗試。無論我們選擇那一條路,祂也會信實地對待我們,並時刻也看顧著我們(不管我們喜不喜歡或者我們希不希望祂這樣)。

 

回看過去,縱使我從前嘗試否認,我今天清楚看見主在我生命裡留下信實的腳印。我覺悟到當我們選擇去留在主的旨意裡時,蒙福的不單是我們自己,還有我們身邊的所有人。我喜歡稱這為“信仰反應”-當一個人把他的信仰付諸於行動時,祝福就會好像連鎖反應一樣地散播到身邊的人。
透過信實,我的父母決定把我生下來,而我從而誕生來到這個世界,並得到機會去開創及發掘我自己的人生。透過信實,我的女兒Hope在2006年11月1日出生了。她今年六歲。她今天活著是因為我選擇去以信實對待主以及祂那給予生命的禮物。透過信實,主介紹我認識了最棒最適合Hope的領養家庭。透過信實,我能夠以這小生命祝福這家庭。

 

今天,當我看到Hope和她的家庭,我就看到她為他們帶來的那份喜悅,而我知道這就是主從一開始已為我們人生預備好的一部份。如果我沒有完全信任主,我們就會錯過這一切,甚至於更多。
看見Hope今天活著和她與她家庭的互動並不是我蒙福的唯一例子。透過我決定生下這小孩的信實,主也在我整個過程當中最憂慮的事情上以信實待我-那就是我的事業。在選擇找領養家庭之前,我很害怕如果我有了這小孩,我的生命會從此永遠改變;要是我不能在我一直以來那麼用功追求的事業上發展,那麼我在學業上付出過了努力都會是白費的。但是一如既往,主是信實的。祂在工作上真的祝福了我。我在Hope出生後一個月去了我的第一個面試,我馬上便被取錄。在我決定離開這公司後數個月,他們竟然破產了。在我還沒有開始找工作時,我的第二份工作機會就出現在我面前,而且薪水比我應得或期望的要高,職稱也非常好。當我在那裡上班的時候,我第三份工作(也就是我現任的工作)自動上門找我,我的薪水、責任和職稱再次高度提升。此外,在舊公司代替我的人在我離職一個月後就被裁員了。我現在的同事們開玩笑說,當我下次轉工作的時候,他們也得一起轉:)但是說認真的,主事先已為我的事業作出最完美的準備,只不過是愚昧的我一直為事業擔心。

 

我不是在暗示如果你信任主,你就一定會得到你想要的一切。但是我從經歷裡學到的是,主信實的方式有時候不是我們所能明白或馬上察覺的。 我們能做的只是請求主在我們所做的一切給予我們祂的帶領和智慧,深信“萬事都互相效力,叫愛神的人得益處,就是按祂旨意被召的人(羅馬書8:28)。”當主呼喚我們時,讓我們用信實的心回答,所以反過來,祂能賜予我們那些祂急不及待想我們擁有的愛和祝福。

 

我的故事還沒有完結,但是主愛的種子已經散播在我的心了。這是我第一次真實地經歷了主的信實,我不能否認祂是真的以及無論我任何時間跌倒或者是跌倒多少次,祂也會不惜一切帶我回家。今天,我希望我的見證能鼓勵你。這見證是一個提醒,告訴我們當事情看似黑暗和淒涼的時候,我們是還有希望的。你要知道主還在信實地看顧著你,祂也在透過你意想不到的多種方法去照顧你⋯⋯只因為祂愛你,並對祂創造的你充滿信心。

Hope和她的領養家庭

 我, Hope和我的媽媽

 

 

編輯的話:我掙扎了很久到底我想不想在WitnessSF分享這個故事。但是最後我決定站出來,因為我相信主給我這段經歷不是為了讓我把它藏起來,而是好讓我跟身邊的人分享,並以此祝福他們。除了這個原因,我衷心地相信意外懷孕和墮胎常常被隱瞞,而人們的經驗也不常被公開。對我而言,我須要處理和渡過我羞恥和尷尬的感覺-不只是為了我自己,而是為了我的家庭和我愛的人-因為不幸地,我所經歷的事情在非基督教或基督教的社區裡也會引起閒話。但是,我想大家知道這些經歷是真實的,而無論我們有否注意到,它們其實也常常發生在我們周圍的人身上。身為我們阿爸父的信徒,我們被召喚去對我們身邊有需要的人坦率、可用和有愛, 無論情況是如何 。

 

我也想說明,當我面對著懷孕的時候,我有一個非常困難的決定要做,而如我先前所說,我們的主是一個自由的主-祂容許我去為自己選擇。在神的話語裡,主多次確認祂是為了比我們所能理解的更偉大的目的而創造生命的( 耶利米書1:5“我未將你造在腹中,我已曉得你,你未出母胎,我已分別你為聖⋯⋯” )我選擇透過這身孕榮耀主。但是,我發現很多面對著或曾經面對過同一困難抉擇的人, 因為我不明白的私人原因,並沒有得到同樣的結果或結論。你要知道無論你曾經歷過甚麼,你永遠也是主珍愛的兒女,而且祂無條件地寬恕、救贖和愛你⋯⋯

 

在我生命的這段時期裡,我一直渴望有多一些明白我在經歷甚麼的人跟我聊天。所以,我想歡迎有著跟我相似的經歷的人與我對話-無論是感情關係顯然對你有著負面的影響、或是你正在面對懷孕、或你曾經經歷過墮胎、又或者如果這故事在任何其他方面感動你,而你正在找尋一些鼓勵或願意聆聽你的心事的人⋯⋯請不要客氣地透過我的電郵( miryandawang@gmail.com )聯絡我。我會為了能跟你分享而感到光榮,我也非常樂意在我所能之內支持你。-M.


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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