Just One Touch of God’s Love // 一觸神的愛
From someone who was once nicknamed “Satan’s Father” to the God-loving man he is today, Tycus shares his long journey to accepting Christ.
I, Tycus Tse Tao Sun, was born in Hong Kong in 1984. I was born into a non-Christian modern Hong Kong middle class family that held values of traditional Chinese religious beliefs.
Kindergarten was the first time I came into contact with Christianity. Based on reputation and connections, my parents placed me into a Christian kindergarten. Little did anyone know, God had already started His work on my heart since that time. The teachers there taught us everything all kindergartens teach. But they also told stories of the Bible, taught Christian songs and taught the kids to pray. Since that time, I innocently prayed on my own every night. Childish but honest prayers.
I spent 4 years of primary school in a secular international school in Hong Kong before going to Singapore for 2 years. During those years, without any Christian influence, the values of the world gained a foothold in my life. My life became a chase after power, achievements, recognitions and pleasures. What I desired was to become a successful person, live a decent life and have influence on the society. Concepts of character and moral slowly faded away, and it all made way for just consideration for me, myself and I. After completing primary school, I entered a school of reputation and fame.
Little did I know that it was really God who has arranged my path of school. Even though I had thought I was the one planning my life, God was really the One who determined my steps. Through the years, secular values from the world had influenced the functioning of the school, yet core values and religious practice of Methodist Christianity remained. This re-introduction of Christianity allowed me to rediscover the once innocent childhood beliefs regarding God and faith.
However, this was met with both conflicts from the outside and within. Outwardly, it was hypocrisy in action of many who called themselves Christians. What was preached from the pulpit was a mismatch with what I observed in their daily lives. Inwardly, the fight was against my concepts of moral values according to the mix of traditional Chinese thinking and modern day secularism and individualism. I searched for the final right answer between these conflicting concepts, perhaps hoping to take a compromised and neutral stance in order to be comfortable on all fronts. And as most teenagers would want in our naivety, I tried to develop my own personal reasoning which surpasses other reasoning.
In my first two years in this school, I had developed my own foolish concept which was to go to the extreme and hate Christianity. I spoke out against it, against the hypocrisy and the controversies. I strove hard to achieve greater achievements and behave with better moral standards than Christians. I did so in an attempt to nullify the truth of the Bible according to the values of the present age. I lashed out verbally against Christians for their belief and passionately persuaded non-believers to stay away from the faith. I even fabricated my own conspiracy theory about religions. Through all these, I had earned a notorious reputation in school and was nicknamed “Satan’s father”.
But even as I prided myself in being a persecutor of Christianity, there was something I had not felt right on the inside. In the height of my academic life and other achievements, I had thought I would be satisfied and lack nothing, but deep down inside, there was something essential that remained missing.
Things started to change on 26th January 2000, at the start of the third year of my secondary school. The timing was coincidental x 4. My class was on a school trip to Thailand but my rugby coach chose to keep me in Singapore for training. That day, I was supposed to go for training, but had to remain in my school compound for a prefects meeting. The meeting was called off because we had an unusually low attendance. Then after the meeting was dismissed, two fellow students (Charles & Kendrick) approached me. Kendrick was a senior prefect who introduced Charles to me. It was an unusually right timing because I happened to have some time on my hands to chat. So Charles and I sat down at the benches behind the school amphitheater to talk.
It was quite a “chat” between Charles and I. Two hours of discussion swinging between heated and intellectual arguments. There I expressed my intense disagreements towards the behaviours I observed of Christians and my own conspiracy theories on the religion. Charles patiently made every attempt to address them to no avail (honestly, I did not remember a single bit of what he had said). In the end of two hours, the conversation seems to be going nowhere.
Then suddenly, out of a moment of silence, something stirred in the depth of my heart. One that, to this day, I could not explain from a logical view without including God in the equation. I felt my heart opening up, and out surged a deep sorrow and emptiness. It was followed by a deep warm feeling, an irrational sense of peace and an overwhelming sense of intimate love. In retrospect, I learned that it was the touch of God’s love. It turned out that at that exact moment, a team some distance away was interceding and praying for Charles and me.
For years since moving to Singapore, I had fought my own fights and worked my own works and had never cried.
This touch of God’s love broke down all my defenses to reach the inner most core of my heart. I had no choice but to be honest with myself and accept this love. Charles realized what God was doing, and gladly followed the leading of the Holy Spirit. There, God found me and I accepted Jesus into my life as my Lord and Savior.
It has now been almost 14 years since that day. Much has happened and much will continue to happen. This journey of knowing Christ is definitely not a bed of roses. The process of sanctification began on that day of accepting Jesus, but will continue and only be completed when I enter into His glory after this life.
In this walk, there will always be moments of ups and downs. Moments of failures and sin which require honest repentance and God’s forgiveness. Moments of correcting character flaws and dealing with past issues. Moments of victory and blessings that return us to humility and thankfulness in Christ.
The joy of salvation, His purpose of our lives, His unconditional everlasting love, unyielding faithfulness, life in His abundance and His relentless grace are forever unchanged and are only gradually discovered and experienced through our walk with Him.
All Praise, Thanks, Glory and Honour be unto the Lord.
我，Tycus Tse Tao Sun，1984 年在香港出生。我出生在香港一個非基督教的中產家庭，有著中國傳統宗教信仰的價值觀。
2000年1月26日，事情就在我中學三年級時出現變化。這個時機相信是四倍的巧合。我的班級要去泰國遊學，但我的橄欖球教練卻要我留在新加坡進行培訓。那天，我本來是要參加訓練的，但我卻留在校舍裡參加班長會議。不過，這次會議被取消，因為我們有一個不尋常的低出席率。會議被取消後，兩個 同學（Charles 和 Kendrick）走近我。 Kendrick是高班級班長，他介紹Charles給我認識。這是一個不尋常的時機，因為我碰巧有時間可以聊天。所以Charles和我坐在學校露天劇場後面的長椅聊天。
這是一個相當不錯的“聊天”。兩個小時的言談，徘徊與激烈和知性的爭論之間。我表達了我對基督徒行為的強烈分歧，以及我對宗教的陰謀論。 Charles耐心地盡一切努力來解答，但是徒勞無功 （說實話，我已不記得他說了什麼）。在兩個小時結束後，我們的對話似乎沒有任何結果。
Image credit: flickr.com/bbaltimore