Looking Back at a Journey on His Road // 回顧在祂的路上

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學習從祂的眼目看,發覺原來可以完全不一樣。

Learning to see from God’s eyes, realizing that everything can be different.

每一年皆有高低起跌,2011年沒有例外,唯一不同的,是擁有過去缺乏的平安和盼望。

成為電影工作者需要無比的勇氣,不是那份將夢想化成影像的勇氣,而是一份能承受不穩定收入的勇氣、一份能承受別人評頭品足的勇氣、一份能承受看不見將來是禍是福的勇氣…

這份勇氣,我沒有,但祂有!

這一年…
我有擔憂我有埋怨我有飲泣我有失落我有迷失我有憤怒我有偏離我有恐懼…
不過,原來我從不缺欠。

祂給我的…
是喜樂是信心是應許是信實是關心是安慰是滿足是平安是寬恕是試煉是祝福。
祂的愛,原來從無間斷。

尚記得踏入兔年之後,曾經有兩個月沒有工作,但賬單不斷,第一次感受到何謂徬徨,每天不住的哀哭呼求,祈求天父大大的供應。不過,祂沒有…

二月、三月,每天也不敢離開電腦前,一直準備自己的履歷、準備自己的故事大綱,向不同公司叩門,但一點回音都沒有,直至我從母親口中聽到這段經文…

「所以我告訴你們、不要為生命憂慮、喫甚麼、喝甚麼,為身體憂慮穿甚麼,生命不勝於飲食麼、身體不勝於衣裳麼。你們看那天上的飛鳥、也不種、也不收、也不積蓄在倉裡、你們的天父尚且養活他.你們不比飛鳥貴重得多麼。你們那一個能用思慮、使壽數多加一刻呢。何必為衣裳憂慮呢.你想野地裡的百合花、怎麼長起來、他也不勞苦、也不紡線,然而我告訴你們、就是所羅門極榮華的時候、他所穿戴的、還不如這花一朵呢。你們這小信的人哪、野地裡的草、今天還在、明天就丟在爐裡、神還給他這樣的妝飾、何況你們呢。所以不要憂慮、說喫甚麼、喝甚麼、穿甚麼。」(馬太福音6:25-31)

擔心,我仍有,但我學會交托,求神引領,祈求在工作崗位上為祂作一個好見證,傳揚祂的訊息。我發現,這才是作為信徒最重要的工作,因為「你們要先求他的國和他的義,這些東西都要加給你們了。(馬太福音6:33)」

由四月開始,工作從不間斷,雖沒有豐厚的收入,但總算吃得飽足、穿得和暖,繼續在工作崗位上打拼。同時,亦在這個染缸內,慢慢向同事滲透福音…

曾忽發奇想,向神祈求有更高的知名度、有更高的社會地位,希望藉以透過自己的影響力廣傳福音,看似神聖,原是自私…

感謝神透過身邊一位重要人士提醒我,這只是一個包著糖衣的藉口,走到領獎台上高呼一句「感謝神」又如何?若果平日對弟兄姊妹沒有真誠的關懷、對別人沒有溫柔的言語、對上帝沒有體貼的心意,即使滿口聖經真理,受到萬人敬仰,倒頭來,也只是撒旦安排混進教會的一尾哈巴狗而已。

當狗還是成人,選擇在於己手。

神要我們信服、看祂比一切重要,要廣傳福音,原來不需要大紫大紅,只需要安守本份,簡單如此。

2011年,學會曾特首的名言:「做好呢份工!」,但不是本身的工作,而是要作好信徒的本份,將夢想交在祂的手中,默默地為祂耕耘,任由祂安排面前的道路。

2012年,我希望能為大家帶來好消息,將同事變為弟兄。

There are ups and downs in every year and 2011 is no exception. The only difference is that I could feel the peace and hope that I used to lack.

Working in the movie industry requires a lot of courage. This courage refers not to the courage to transform dreams into images but the courage to endure irregular income, other people’s criticism and the inability to see the future clearly…

I don’t have this courage, but He has!

This year…
I worried, I complained, I cried, I was disappointed, I was lost, I was angry, I strayed and I feared…
However, I actually didn’t lack anything.

He gave me…
joy, confidence, answer, faith, care, comfort, satisfaction, peace, forgiveness, tests and blessings.
His love actually never ceased.

I still remember that for two months after the year of the rabbit began, I did not have any work for two months and the bills kept accumulating. For the first time, I felt what it meant to be lost. I cried for help everyday, praying for God’s provision. However, He didn’t provide …

Every day of February and March, I did not dare to leave my computer’s side. I kept preparing my CV and my story synopsis and I kept knocking on different companies’ doors to no avail, until I heard the following passage from my mother…

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’” (Matthew 6:25-31)

I still worry, but I’ve learned to entrust it to God, letting Him be my guide. I pray that I could be a good testimony to God at work, spreading His message. I realize that this is actually the most important job for a Christian, because “… seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (Matthew 6:33)

Starting from April, work started pouring in. Even though I don’t have a high income, I have enough to eat and clothes to keep me warm and I continue to work hard. At the same time, I slowly spread the Gospel to colleagues around me in this very complicated show business industry.

I have once had this thought that I should pray to God for popularity and a higher social status, hoping that I could spread the Gospel even farther through my influence. It may seem like a noble thought, but it is actually selfish…

I thank God for using an important person around me to remind me that this is just a sugarcoated excuse. What good does it do to walk on stage receiving an award and shout out “Thank God”? If in everyday life, I do not sincerely care for my brothers and sisters, if I cannot utter gentle words to others and if my thoughts do not follow God’s wills, even when I preach the Gospel in words and I am admired by thousands, I am really just a puppet that Satan has planted into the church.

To be a puppet or a man is a choice in our own hands.

God wants us to believe and put Him above everything else. To spread the Gospel does not require being famous. All you need is to do what is right. It is that simple.

In 2011, I’ve learned the Chief-Executive Mr. Tsang’s motto: “I will do my job right!” I don’t mean my own job, but the job of a good Christian. I entrust my dreams in His hands, quietly plow the fields for Him and let Him plan the roads that lie ahead for me.

In 2012, I hope to bring good news to everyone – I want to lead my colleagues to become my brothers in Christ.

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