Lymphoma: A Journey to Salvation (2) // 淋巴癌：一個救贖的旅程 (下)
Angry at God and hurt, Ammathy Winnie Lui bargained for three things to happen before allowing her mom to pass away. Read on to see how God answered her requests…
I laid my head on my mom’s bed and held her left hand in my hands, praying to God, “God, my dear Heavenly Father, I am not willing to let her go like this. I’m asking for just three things – to have breakfast with her once more, to watch TV with her once more and to hear her call me “little punk”. Only if these three things happen would I be willing to let You take her away. Otherwise, I will hold a grudge for the rest of my life.” I said this very prayer just once …
Two hours later, from the hospital’s window, I could see the morning birds fly and hear them chirp. I was still laying my head on the side of my mom’s bed praying when I suddenly felt a soft tug at my right sleeve. I turned and found my mom awake, smiling at me and mumbling somewhat unclearly, “I want to have breakfast. Could you feed me some oatmeal porridge?” I was so happy that I jumped up and ran to the nurses’ room, asking them for oatmeal. I then slowly helped my mom sit up, adjusted her pillow and helped her rinse her mouth and wash her face. I fed her spoonful after spoonful of oatmeal and she soon asked, “what about yours? Let’s eat together.” At that sentence, I froze and couldn’t react to what she just said…
After breakfast, mom napped for a while and woke up when it was time for lunch. I was just about to feed her when she suddenly said to me, “I really want to watch TV. Can you watch TV with me?” Of course I said yes, so I went to turn on the TV, whispering to God, “God, my Lord, thank you!” At the same time, I was starting to miss my mom terribly because I knew there wasn’t much time left…
Although the TV was showing the outdated TV drama that had already been replayed ten million times, I still really treasured that heartwarming moment I spent with my mom. I knew that was the last time I would be able to watch TV with her. When a rather silly part of the drama was playing, I laughed out loud and said to my mom, “Mom, look, she’s just like you!” My mom suddenly turned to me and said, “Haha, you little punk!” When I heard that, I froze once again. It took a long while before I could turn to face her. At that moment, I couldn’t smile anymore. All I could do was look at her expressionlessly.
God really had given me all that I asked for, which also meant that it was time for mom to go…
The very last meal that I fed my mom was a box of room-temperature nutrition milk. She drank about half of it. I carefully cleaned her face, helped her change and slowly laid her down. After, I reminisced and shared childhood stories with her. Slowly, she closed her eyes and her breaths grew heavier. Looking at her, my tears were flowing uncontrollably, because I knew she would never wake up again.
I prayed, “My loving Heavenly Father, I am very thankful! Thank you for answering my prayers. Now that my wished have been fulfilled, please send angels to bring her to her heavenly home. I’m sad and pained, but I am not afraid because I know we will meet again one day in heaven. Please take her away.”
28 hours later, at 6:02 a.m. on February 28, 2004, surrounded by her family and friends as well as 20 plus medical staff, my mother passed away at the age of 64. And I got baptized on May 30 of that year. At my baptism in front of all the brothers and sisters, I shared the miracles that we had experienced during my mom’s four-year battle against cancer as the first testimony that I’ve ever shared in my life. I was grateful that God’s grace had never left our side, and because of that, it changed my life.
I have shared this testimony with countless people before but I had never put it down in writing. Two weeks short of 10 years after my baptism, I looked back at the past year and saw that God had allowed me to experience several challenges in my life and truly hear His voice and feel the warmth of His glory for the very first time. Through a series of loving trials with my family, God allowed me to clearly understand His Will and my purpose and responsibility. I am ever so grateful for all these.
This testimony could only written because of God’s voice. I never used to understand why I should put my testimony down in writing. All I knew was that God’s grace and purpose are behind it. If He wanted me to do so, He must have a reason and I will not hesitate to obey. At the Sunday service immediately following the completion of this written testimony, I received the answer from Him. It turned out that the Lutheran World Federation and the Roman Catholic church were co-signing the “Joint Declaration on the Doctrine of Justification” that afternoon. When I heard that, the series of events that God had intricately planned in my life no longer need further explanation.
“For with God nothing shall be impossible.” – Luke 1:37
“I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” – Philippians 4:13
May this testimony allow those who don’t know God to know Him. May it bring those who do not believe to believe. May it strengthen those whose faith is weak. May it take away the doubts from the doubting ones and help those who believe to be rooted in their belief. I am thankful for God’s guidance that made my thoughts and use of words flow like a steady stream. All glory and praises to our Lord Jesus Christ and our highest God, my loving and almighty trinity to whom nothing is impossible. Hallelujah!
Click here to read Part 1 of Ammathy’s story
「For with God nothing shall be impossible.」(路1:37)
Image credit: flick.com/janafalk