Lymphoma: A Journey to Salvation (2) // 淋巴癌:一個救贖的旅程 (下)

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Angry at God and hurt, Ammathy Winnie Lui bargained for three things to happen before allowing her mom to pass away. Read on to see how God answered her requests…
患淋巴癌的媽媽危在旦夕,艾瑪菲.雲妮感到悲痛和生氣,並跟神談條件要求神在帶走媽媽前令三件事發生。齊來看看神如何回應她的要求⋯⋯

I laid my head on my mom’s bed and held her left hand in my hands, praying to God, “God, my dear Heavenly Father, I am not willing to let her go like this.  I’m asking for just three things – to have breakfast with her once more, to watch TV with her once more and to hear her call me “little punk”.  Only if these three things happen would I be willing to let You take her away.  Otherwise, I will hold a grudge for the rest of my life.”  I said this very prayer just once …

with mum_ssss

Two hours later, from the hospital’s window, I could see the morning birds fly and hear them chirp.  I was still laying my head on the side of my mom’s bed praying when I suddenly felt a soft tug at my right sleeve.  I turned and found my mom awake, smiling at me and mumbling somewhat unclearly, “I want to have breakfast.  Could you feed me some oatmeal porridge?”  I was so happy that I jumped up and ran to the nurses’ room, asking them for oatmeal.  I then slowly helped my mom sit up, adjusted her pillow and helped her rinse her mouth and wash her face.  I fed her spoonful after spoonful of oatmeal and she soon asked, “what about yours?  Let’s eat together.”  At that sentence, I froze and couldn’t react to what she just said…

After breakfast, mom napped for a while and woke up when it was time for lunch.  I was just about to feed her when she suddenly said to me, “I really want to watch TV.  Can you watch TV with me?”  Of course I said yes, so I went to turn on the TV, whispering to God, “God, my Lord, thank you!” At the same time, I was starting to miss my mom terribly because I knew there wasn’t much time left…

Although the TV was showing the outdated TV drama that had already been replayed ten million times, I still really treasured that heartwarming moment I spent with my mom.  I knew that was the last time I would be able to watch TV with her.  When a rather silly part of the drama was playing, I laughed out loud and said to my mom, “Mom, look, she’s just like you!”  My mom suddenly turned to me and said, “Haha, you little punk!” When I heard that, I froze once again.  It took a long while before I could turn to face her.  At that moment, I couldn’t smile anymore. All I could do was look at her expressionlessly.

God really had given me all that I asked for, which also meant that it was time for mom to go…

The very last meal that I fed my mom was a box of room-temperature nutrition milk.  She drank about half of it.  I carefully cleaned her face, helped her change and slowly laid her down.  After, I reminisced and shared childhood stories with her.  Slowly, she closed her eyes and her breaths grew heavier.  Looking at her, my tears were flowing uncontrollably, because I knew she would never wake up again.

I prayed, “My loving Heavenly Father, I am very thankful!  Thank you for answering my prayers.  Now that my wished have been fulfilled, please send angels to bring her to her heavenly home.  I’m sad and pained, but I am not afraid because I know we will meet again one day in heaven.  Please take her away.”

The_Last_Pic_with_Mum

28 hours later, at 6:02 a.m. on February 28, 2004, surrounded by her family and friends as well as 20 plus medical staff, my mother passed away at the age of 64. And I got baptized on May 30 of that year.  At my baptism in front of all the brothers and sisters, I shared the miracles that we had experienced during my mom’s four-year battle against cancer as the first testimony that I’ve ever shared in my life.  I was grateful that God’s grace had never left our side, and because of that, it changed my life.

I have shared this testimony with countless people before but I had never put it down in writing.  Two weeks short of 10 years after my baptism, I looked back at the past year and saw that God had allowed me to experience several challenges in my life and truly hear His voice and feel the warmth of His glory for the very first time.  Through a series of loving trials with my family, God allowed me to clearly understand His Will and my purpose and responsibility.  I am ever so grateful for all these.

This testimony could only written because of God’s voice.  I never used to understand why I should put my testimony down in writing.  All I knew was that God’s grace and purpose are behind it.  If He wanted me to do so, He must have a reason and I will not hesitate to obey.  At the Sunday service immediately following the completion of this written testimony, I received the answer from Him.  It turned out that the Lutheran World Federation and the Roman Catholic church were co-signing the “Joint Declaration on the Doctrine of Justification” that afternoon.  When I heard that, the series of events that God had intricately planned in my life no longer need further explanation.

“For with God nothing shall be impossible.” – Luke 1:37

“I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” – Philippians 4:13

May this testimony allow those who don’t know God to know Him.  May it bring those who do not believe to believe.  May it strengthen those whose faith is weak.  May it take away the doubts from the doubting ones and help those who believe to be rooted in their belief.  I am thankful for God’s guidance that made my thoughts and use of words flow like a steady stream.  All glory and praises to our Lord Jesus Christ and our highest God, my loving and almighty trinity to whom nothing is impossible.  Hallelujah!

Amen!

Click here to read Part 1 of Ammathy’s story

我伏在媽子的床邊,雙手緊握她的左手,向父上帝祈求說:「上帝,我敬愛的父神,要是祢現在把媽子就這樣帶走的話,我這輩子也不會甘心,現在我只向你求三件事:你讓她再陪我吃一次早餐、讓她再陪我看一次電視、讓她再叫我一次『衰女包』,就只三樣,唯有這樣,我才甘心樂意讓你帶她走,不然的話我知道我一定會記恨一輩子。」這禱告,我只向上帝說了一遍,就那麼一遍…

with mum_ssss

過不了兩個小時,醫院的窗開始看見清晨小鳥飛翔,也聽得見小鳥的鳴叫,本來伏在媽子床邊,底頭禱告中的我的右邊衣袖突然輕輕的被拉了一下,轉過頭去,發現我媽真的醒了,她一臉笑容的看著我,以不太清晰的發音跟我說:「我想要吃早餐,餵我吃牛奶麥片好嗎?」我開心得跳起來,連聲說好便馬上飛奔似的沖到護士休息室請護士們幫我媽張羅,再慢慢扶她坐起來,為她調好枕頭,幫她漱口抹臉,再捧著牛奶麥片慢慢吹涼,一口一口的餵她,她吃不了幾口,就跟我說:「你的哩?我們一起吃。」那一刻,我整個愣住…

吃過早餐,她又睡了好一陣子,午餐時分才轉醒,正準備要餵她吃午飯的時候,她突然對我說:「好想看電視,陪我看電視好嗎?」我當然說好,在我走去打開電視的同時,心裏一味向上帝說:「上帝,我的主,謝謝你!」卻又極度不舍,因我知道,所剩的時間真的不多了……

雖然電視播著的是重播了十萬次的老套電視劇,但我非常非常珍惜那一刻的溫馨時光,因我知道,那應該是我最後一次和媽子一起看電視了。和媽子一起看著看著,在一段非常無聊的劇情時我笑著跟媽子說:「媽子,你看,她多像你!」就大笑起來,媽子這時突然轉頭笑著對我說:「呵呵呵,你這『衰女包』!」聽完我整個人嚇得呆住,像鹽柱一樣,過了好長時間才能轉過頭去,那一刻,我只懂得呆呆的看著她,再也笑不出來。

上帝真的把我所許下的願都應允了我,那即是說,她,真的是時候要走了……

那是我餵我媽最後的一頓夜宵,是一盒室溫的營養奶,她整整喝下了半包,我仔細幫她把臉擦乾淨,換過衣服,再扶她慢慢躺下,之後我還說了一陣子兒時趣事給她聽,慢慢地,她闔上了眼,呼吸,也開始變得越來越沉。看著她,我的眼淚開始失控,因我知道,她應該再也不會醒過來了……

「慈愛的天父,我慈愛的主,深深的感謝你!感謝你再賜下恩典讓我如願以償,我的心願已了,你派天使來接她吧,我難過、我悲哀、我痛,但我不再害怕,因我知道,我們最終定會天家再見。你帶她走吧……」

The_Last_Pic_with_Mum

二十八個小時之後,2004年2月28日的清晨六時零二分,我媽在一眾愛她的親人好友及全病房二十幾位醫護人員的陪伴下,走完她人生匆匆的六十四年,安然離世步入天家,而我,也在同年的5月30日正式受洗,並以我媽抗癌四年裏我們所經歷的一切神跡,於我的受洗日作為我人生的第一篇見證,于眾弟兄姊妹面前作我的第一次的分享,感恩的是上帝恩典從未遠離,也從此改變了我往後的人生。

這篇見證我與無數的人分享過無數遍,卻從不曾認真地一字一字細細道來。在距離踏進受洗重生的第十個生日不夠兩星期,回顧過去一年,上帝又再讓我經歷了人生幾個重大考驗,亦讓我第一次真正清楚聽見祂的聲音,和第一次看見上帝溫暖的榮光,而在剛過去的半個五月裏,在我和家人的一連串愛與試煉中,上帝終於讓我清晰地完全領受到祂的旨意,讓我更清楚知道祂給予我的使命和責任,這些,都叫我無限感恩。

這篇見證得以完成,也是因著上帝的聲音,曾經一度不明白父神為何非得要我必須把它完整地一字一句整理出來不可,只知道上帝總有其恩典與旨意於當中,祂既要我如此行,就必有祂的原因,我必當遵行。就在這篇見證完成後的緊接的主日祟拜上,我馬上得到父神對我心中疑惑的最大回應,原來信義宗教會與天主教會在當天中午將簽訂「有關成義/稱義教義聯合聲明」,亦即是說,這篇見證,兩教皆通用,不止限於得我們,天主教亦可以之作見證父神的大能與祂的恩典。 說到這裡,相信已不用再詳加說明上帝對我和媽子所作的一切巧妙安排了。

「For with God nothing shall be impossible.」(路1:37)

「我靠著那加給我力量的、凡事都能作。」(腓4:13)

但願這篇見證能讓未認識上帝的人認識上帝,讓未信主的人認識主,讓小信的人更具信心,讓存疑的人不再疑惑,讓確信的人更加鞏固。感謝父神的帶領,讓我的思緒及用辭能暢順如流水行雲。一切榮耀頌贊歸於我們的主耶穌基督,及至高者耶和華,我慈愛、大能、且無所不能的三一父上帝。Hallelujah!

Amen!

想閱讀艾瑪菲.雲妮的故事的上半部,請點擊這裡

Image credit: flick.com/janafalk

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