The Battle // 爭戰

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battle

Do you feel like you struggle with the same thing over and over? 你有否覺得自己為同一件事情不斷地掙扎﹖ 

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. - 1 Peter 5:10

Suffering seems to turn our heads towards the heavens and ask God, “WHY? Why me? What have I done? What are you doing? Why aren’t you rescuing me?”

I know because I have a struggle which I thought would just go away on its own. Instead it’s gone on for over a year and I feel like such a failure. Sure, I’ve prayed for healing but it’s quite disheartening to ask for forgiveness, will yourself into believing that God has freed you, just to fall back to the same spot the next day.

But it’s not the same spot.

When I stopped asking God for the easy way out and asked what He actually wants me to do, He told me to first of all, recognize that this is a raging spiritual battle, and call it out. That’s when I realized, yes it is, those temptations and feelings of failure mixed with condemnation do not come from God. So as a natural response, I rejected these things in the name of Jesus. I realized God is telling me to call out the lies that the enemy is telling me. Thinking that this is purely something internal in my mind and has nothing to do with anything or anyone else is the first lie. Call it out(For those who may not understand what I’m on about; in short, satan – aka the enemy – has one sole purpose: to separate us from God by causing us to sin. He does so by lying to us, stealing from us, and destroying what is ours. Our God is the truth, restores and mends. This resistance from satan is what we call a spiritual war/battle). Denying that this is a spiritual warfare is like standing at gun point saying that there’s nothing in front of you. Forget running away, you can’t even duck when the trigger is pulled.

Warfare, is it?

So what am I supposed to do with my bare hands? We’ve established that there isn’t much I can do on my own.

Pray. Prayer is the most powerful weapon God has given us, it also happens to be the most powerful one anyone can ever have when it is used according to God’s will. The Lord showed me that in prayer, every lie that I call out and rebuke in the name of Jesus… are literally gunshots that I’m firing.

So why put me through this? What happened to those one-off miraculous healings that we so often hear about, even see with our own eyes?

By this point I don’t even care. God is putting me through something so much more exciting. The enemy will keep raging and trying to take us from God until Jesus returns again – so I will be in a spiritual battle one way or another. I’ve learnt the theory of it, so what better way to train for combat by being in combat?

At least in my case, I can say with confidence, that no, God doesn’t want to give me one-time healing, but that doesn’t make Him evil, nor am I bitter about it (well, I do get bitter about it when I lose sight of what He’s trying to give me, but by Jesus’ grace I get up on my feet and keep fighting), because my all-powerful Father in heaven is trying to give me something much greater. He’s equipping me to be a fighter, a soldier, a warrior, to fight battles. Don’t we humans say it’s better to teach a man to fish than to give him a fish?

“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! - Matthew 7:9-11

 

那 賜諸般恩典的神曾在基督裡召你們,得享他永遠的榮耀,等你們暫受苦難之後,必要親自成全你們,堅固你們,賜力量給你們。- 彼得前書510

苦難好像總使我們仰天問神︰「為什麼﹖為什麼是我﹖我究竟做錯了什麼﹖祢在幹嘛啊﹖怎麼不來拯救我﹖」

我知道,因為我自己就有這樣的掙扎,以為它會自然消失,卻持續了一年多,讓我感到自己很失敗。我也曾試過祈求神的醫治,但令人沮喪的是,每次求神饒恕,以為自己被釋放了,那知又返回原狀。

但這次並不一樣。

當我不再去求神給我一個簡單的解決方法,而是問祂我該做什麼的時候,祂告訴我,首先要認出這是一場激烈的屬靈爭戰,然後將它揭露出來。我當時就明白,是的,這些試探、挫敗感,和譴責並不是從神而來的。所以,我的自然反應就是奉耶穌基督的名去抵擋這一切。我也明白神要我揭露仇敵的謊言。第一個謊言就是以為這一切都是純粹在我自己的腦海裡,跟任何人、任何事都沒關係。把這謊言揭露出來﹝有些讀者可能不懂我在說什麼; 簡單來說,撒旦又稱敵只有一個目的︰就是使我們犯罪來把我們與神分開。它會向我們撒謊、偷竊、以及進行破壞來達到目的。我們的神是真理,能修復一切。我們稱這與撒旦的抗爭為屬靈爭戰。否認這是個屬靈的爭戰就像站在槍口前說前面什麼也沒有。板機扣動時你休想可以及時逃脫。

爭戰﹖

憑著赤手空拳,我能作什麼呢﹖靠自己真的不能作什麼。

祈禱。禱告是上帝給我們最強的武器,而合神心意的禱告更能勝過一切。主讓我看到,每一次藉著禱告,奉耶穌基督的名來揭露和擊破撒旦的謊言…就是向仇敵發射的子彈!

那為何要我經歷這些呢?我們常常聽聞、甚至親眼目睹的一次性醫冶的神跡在哪裡﹖

到了這個地步,我也不管了。神正在讓我有更刺激的經歷。直到耶穌基督再來之前,仇敵會一直不停地企圖將我們從神那裡奪走,所以無論怎樣,我都會處於屬靈爭戰當中。既然已經學了理論,實戰不就是最好的備戰訓練嗎﹖

至少我可以非常肯定,神不願意給我一次性的醫冶。這並不表示祂是邪惡的,我亦不為此而懷恨(其實,當我看不到神懷所意念是什麼的時候,也會感到不滿,但靠著主耶穌的恩典,我能夠再次站起來,繼續作戰),因為全能天父的旨意是更美好的︰祂正在裝備我成為一名鬥士、戰士、武士。我們不是說,教一個人釣魚,總比給他一條魚好嗎﹖

你們中間誰有兒子求餅,反給他石頭呢?求魚,反給他蛇呢?你們雖然不好,尚且知道拿好東西給兒女,何況你們在天上的父,豈不更把好東西給求他的人麼?- 馬太福音79-11

 

Image credit: Flickr/Steve Mclaren

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